Don't Wanna Let You Go
by ChanFiction.net
Summary: inspired by that heartbreaking last scene in The Maggots in the Meathead where Brennan looks like she's about to cry.


She knows it's irrational, but she can't help it. Just seeing them together makes her want to cry despite her tough exterior. She's too scared of being vulnerable but she can't help but let the walls she's built around herself fall down tonight when she gets home. After seeing how happy Booth was with the gift Hannah bought him, with her help, she just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. But the thing that really broke her was the look on Booth's face when she was about to leave. He hasn't looked at her like that since before the night outside the Hoover building. Why would he? She broke his heart. She could see it in his eyes. That night she cried herself to sleep. Like tonight. As soon as she got inside, the tears came crashing down. She couldn't stop them. She was just so in love with the man. So in love with a highly unavailable man. A man who's current relationship was "as serious as a heart attack". But it wasn't just tonight that she was realising she was in love with him. Most of their 6 years of partnership she had been feeling feelings of love towards him. She knew after their first case that she loved him despite their bickering. And that's what made it hurt even more. She has loved him from the first day they met and she knows he has too. For crying out loud, the entire FBI and Jeffersonian knows. Even her interns that've only been around for a year or two know. She hates this feeling. The only person, other than Booth, who can help her with this is Angela. It's only eight. She can still call.

"Hello?", Hodgins answers.

"Hodgins, hi. I was wondering if I could talk to Angela…"

"Sure, Dr B. She's right here."

"Thanks."

"Sweetie? What's up?"

"Uh, quite a lot, actually. In my head at least…"

"What's up?"

"I think this would be better in person… Could you come over for like an hour?"

"Sure. I'll be there in 20 minutes."

"Thanks, Ange."

20 minutes later, Angela shows up and she's starting to get worried. The whole way over, she keeps wondering if Brennan is going to tell her she's going back to Indonesia.

"Okay, I'm here now. What is it? Don't tell me you're going back to Maluku…"

"I'm not, Ange. My skills are needed here."

"Then what is it?"

"It's… It's about Booth…"

"Is there something wrong with him?"

"No, not that I know of… I've been thinking a lot about Booth and I these past 8 months."

"And?"

"I... I have come to the conclusion… that I am in love with him…"

Angela lets out a squeal of joy. "Finally! I've been telling you two for years to get your mess together."

"Yeah, but here's the difficult part. About 2 months before we all left, Booth and I were walking out of the Hoover building after talking to Sweets about his book about us. Booth said he wanted to give "us" a go."

"And you said no…"

"Yes. I couldn't lose him by starting a relationship and have it turn bad and loose not only my partner but one of my best friends. So I told him the FBI wouldn't let us work together if we were in a relationship. And he said it was not a good excuse and… he… he kissed me."

"WHAT? Booth KISSED you!"

"Yes."

"What was it like? You guys finally did it!"

"It wasn't our first kiss…"

"Wait. What? You're telling me you and Agent Studly have kissed before?"

"Yes."

"And you kept this from me?"

"I couldn't tell you."

"Okay, so how many times have you kissed?"

"Three times."

"In seven years? When were they?"

"You know how Booth fired me when we were working our first case and I came in the next day hung over?"

"Yes."

"Well, he decided to get me drunk and we kissed. The next was that Christmas we found the fake Santa. My dad wanted Christmas with Russ and I, so I had to make a deal with Caroline. So she wanted me to kiss Booth and I did. The other one was outside the Hoover."

"Oh my god. How did I miss that? How were they?"

"Like nothing before. That sounds so cliché, but it's true. He's strong but gentle at the same time."

"Wow. If that's your description of just his kisses, imagine what he's like in the sack!"

"I try not to…"

"What do you mean?"

"I tried not to think about him in Maluku. But I couldn't help it. I thought of us as a couple… I thought of him… in… that… way…"

"Wait! So you're telling me you had a sex dream about Seeley Booth!"

"Yes," Brennan says, blushing.

"You should see if your dream perception is the same as real life."

"I can't. He has Hannah. He will for the next 30 or 40 years. He asked her to move in with him. He loves her and… not me." Brennan cracks a little at that, a few stray tears escaping from her armour.

"He does love you, Sweetie. He's just hurting from before. He thinks you don't love him. You need to really smack him over the head with it."

"Ange, you don't get it. I told him I was incapable of loving him. That I am incapable of change. I reduced him to tears. He doesn't even cry when he's been tortured. What I did is worse than torture. I'm surprised he's even talking to me anymore."

"Sweetie, it'll work out. You just need to let him know that you really do love him. Men are like that. You really need to spell things out to them. I have to do it with Hodgins all the time." Angela says with a smile. "It'll work out. I promise."

"Okay. Thank you, Ange. I really needed to talk to someone about that. In the vernacular, I needed to get that off my chest."

"It's okay, Sweetie. Anytime."


End file.
